Please don't remind me mother. I know I'm young, but I feel old (kind of).
I decided to reflect on my birthday, and ask myself some tough questions I haven't before.
where was I this time last year?
Oh god, memory please help me. (My memory isn't very good). March 2015 I had gone on a sushi date with my Husband, (We did the same thing this year). I was given an ice cream maker, and food dehydrator (woo! Exciting. Actually it was. I freakin' love that thing! It becomes an addiction too. You start looking for anything in your kitchen to dehydrate. Seriously).
I still had my old business then too. For those that don't know me well, I had a soap making business, and sold my soaps on Etsy. I also had some of my beauty products in an art gallery gift shop. The business obviously didn't last, but at that time I was pretty excited about it. (Retail- never again!!)
What would my 15 year old self think of me now?
"What the fuck are you wearing, you sellout!" That's probably what My 15 year old self would say to me now (ha!). Yeah, sorry younger me, the goth look isn't for me anymore.
"You're a tarot reader? That's pretty sweet!" Yes, younger me. 'Tis sweet and totally rad. Bet you never thought you'd catch the entrepreneur bug eh?
"You married a guy from... BRAZIL?!" Yes. That's a long (beautiful) story. Maybe I'll tell you about it over coffee sometime. Oh ya, the coffee thing never went away. Coffee everyday. Coffee coffee coffee!
Dear younger me,
This is probably where you never thought you'd end up, but I promise you it is exactly where you need to be. (Sorry, but that small town you hated with every fibre of your being? Well, you're gonna buy a house there. Trust me- the city sucks!) You are stronger than you think. You really can do amazing things, and you will. You don't have bad luck, so stop telling yourself that. All the bad shit that's happened will teach you so much, so try not to get down on yourself. It won't last forever. Please note: you have a stellar bod! Seriously, enjoy those magnificent boobs!
Know that you are loved, will be more loved, and are capable of showing more love. I encourage you to do that, even when it's difficult. Especially when it's most difficult.
PS. You will never get any taller. Sorry. (5'0" for life honey)
what do I want to accomplish this year?
A lot. Next question.
Okay, in more detail- what I want to accomplish is big. Bigger than I ever imagined. A business that allows me to spend more time with my family. A business that I love, and that can support me.
I want to at least start my yoga teacher training this year. I want to learn more about astrology. I want to buy a new couch, with the money I made myself from my business. I also want to get my full license. (Yep, I don't drive. It freaks me out).
how do I feel?
I feel young and old at the same time. Kind of confused. Twenty-six is still young, but inside I feel older. Yet sometimes, I feel like an overgrown teenager. I feel like I'm supposed to be an adult, and act like an adult, but sometimes I just feel like I'm faking it. "This is how I adult right?"
Otherwise I feel great! I'm probably the healthiest I've ever been, and for the first time in my life I really do like myself. I like the person I've become and I don't shy away from saying good things about myself.
what's been the best and worst thing this past year?
The best thing this past year was closing my old business. It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Which ultimately made way for my current business- Tarot (which I love a whole lot more!) Last summer I also started my first vegetable garden, and that had been a big dream of mine. I was pretty successful with it, and I can't tell you how rewarding it is to grow your own food- simply incredible!
The worst thing that happened this past year? I actually can't think of anything. Sure there's some bumps here and there, but nothing serious. Do I have horseshoes up my ass? Maybe. If so, they can stay there.
what have I learned?
I've learned a lot! in 2015 I sat down and diligently, and religiously researched everything I could on Tarot, and taught myself the art of tarot reading. I'm still learning something everyday too. I've learned to be more focused on the present, as in what I'm able to do right now with that what I have. I've learned tons of new stuff about running a small business, and I'm super excited to pump things up to business 2.0!
I've learned to be more focused, centered, and calm.
My birthday tarot card
March 15 1990
3+1+5+1+9+9+0= 28
2+8= 10
1+0= 1
My Tarot Card is the Magician.
The Magician tells me I'm able to work my magic (I should work my magic) and manifest like a boss! I'm handy and resourceful. I have the tools I need, so I can "Macgyver" my way through any situation. I have the inner power create anything I desire. ("I've got the power!")
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