A week or so ago, I found myself in a place I hadn't been in a long time. Not a physical space, a mental space.
It was a dark one. One of judging, assuming, accusing, and negative emotions that I could physically feel. I was complaining about an acquaintance, and every time I thought about this person, anger bubbled inside of me. I hadn't felt anger physically like that towards someone in a long time. Why now? What was it about this person that got me SO riled up? Even while I was complaining about this person and putting them down, I said to myself in my mind:
'This isn't me. I don't do this. WHY am I doing this?!'
After venting- purging this negative emotional vomit- I decided to sit down and do some shadow work regarding this person, and myself. I don't compare myself to people, or ever feel like I need to be in competition with anyone, but with this person I did. I needed to understand why.
Shadow work never fails me. It works every time! What I was actually afraid of becoming, were the characteristics of this person. I try so hard to be positive all the time, that I was ultimately suppressing some of these characteristics and was resisting them so hard! It's great to be positive, but if we ignore the negative completely we end up bottling them up, only for them to overflow and make a mess later. Which was what happened to me.
It was a very enlightening experience, and as soon as I was finished with the writing exercise, I felt a weight had lifted! I understood myself better, by acknowledging my shadow side. I no longer felt so much hate and anger toward this person. In fact, I could have cared less. I understood where they might be coming from, and they only know what they know, right?
I said, "good luck to you, now off you go!"
Then off I went too.
Card is from: Miracles Now Affirmation Deck
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